Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Happy Leap/Hump Day!

   It is a leap year day and a hump day! Insert whatever joke you like here. People born on this day or getting married will only have to see gifts every 4 years. I hate that for you folks. I am not very happy with this leap year as it knocks me out of a Saturday birthday in 2013!
    The concept of leap year and February 29th fascinated me when I was young. It was like some hidden room in a old haunted house or a hidden floor in a tall building. It was unfathomable that we would have a day just appear every four years, like magic. Strangely enough, I connect leap day with one of my childhood terrors. The ancient terror of England known as Spring Heeled Jack!

    As a child, my mind easily reasoned that Spring Heeled Jack MUST be associated with leap year/day. Those that are not familiar with this nightmare from my childhood, take note. Jack terrorized England from 1837 to 1904 (his last reported sighting).

   He was always described, by countless witnesses, as being a tall gaunt man, covered in what looked like a black oil suit (scuba suit?) and high boots, with hands covered in metal curved claws. He was reported to be able to vomit blue/green flames, had piercing green eyes, and very devilish look (small horns, and pointy features on his face).  He had a penchant for attacking woman, trying to kiss their faces and tear off their clothes. Those unlucky enough to be attacked would describe his hands as "unearthly cold and clammy" and describe a smell of  "burning cinders and sulphur". His most notable feature, and that which he gleaned his nickname, was his ability to jump great heights and distances. It was reported by a local police constable to have seen Spring Heeled Jack leap away from an attacked woman when perused and clear a 9 foot wall with ease.

   As a child, I was absolutely terrified by this demonic, leaping villain. There are so many documented cases and stories about this creature, you should read at least one. I guess it was not hard for my young mind to connect that Spring Heeled Jack must come around every "Leap" year. 

   Hope everybody has a great hump/leap day! Hopefully you will not run into any sinister leaping creatures. 

Monday, February 27, 2012

Never before seen photo of the "Wood Booger"!

   Oops... that is not the Wood Booger.... that is just forest snot! She must be allergic to witches and/or bad acting.

    Well that is getting closer but still not the Wood Booger we are looking for. 

Those are, most certainly, some boogers made from wood, but not THE WOOD BOOGER.

The truth is, we may never have an actual picture of the elusive Wood Booger of Southwest Virginia.

Friday, February 24, 2012

If there will ever be a zombie virus, I will be the first to turn.

   I am smack dab in the middle of my 7th bout of cold/flu since November. If the zombie virus does not take me out first, then I will be the carrier that infects BILLIONS before I even realize I have it. The only good thing about these sick spells is they do not last overly long and I am able to fight them off in short order. They are just intense for the first few days. My body feels like it is tying itself in knots with this fever and I cannot lay down because I wake up choking and unable to breathe. Oh well, that which does not kill us, makes us stronger.... or makes us zombie fodder!
    Hope everybody has a good weeKEnD! Take your vitamins and get plenty of vitamin C yall!

Monday, February 20, 2012

The sun rises on the aftermath of "Snowpocalypse" 2012

   We did not get the massive 6 to 10 inches predicted where I live, but it was fun to watch my neck of the woods react to snow as if they had never heard or seen of it before. You would think it was radioactive frozen toilet water falling from bloated, floating zombies.
   I have learned there are some predictable Facebook protocol you must observe in Southwest Virginia anytime the local station calls for any amount of snow over 3 inches. Here are a few of those observations :

  1. 48 hours before the first flake, people must post about running to a store (ie Walmart, Foodcity, etc) to buy milk and bread. It is like the end of the world if you are unlucky enough to be out during this dash for dairy. 
  2. Somebody will post that some of the local home hardware stores are completely sold out of kerosene heaters and or generators. The way people buy these every year, I think most consumers are using them once and disposing of them in summer. 
  3. As we move close to the time of the snow, people start exaggerating the amount of snow that is predicted to fall. For example, some of the higher elevations could see 6 to 10 inches, but I saw at least 2 posts saying we could see up to 24 inches and it was a wet, "death dealing" snow.... whatever that is. 
  4. A few select people will feel the need to "evacuate" the area until the snow has passed. Those that do MUST post hourly about how much nicer it is wherever they went.
  5. Before the snow starts, some people have to post about how they hate snow, while an equal number must post that they love it. Listing the reasons for both are just icing on the cake. 
  6. When the snow starts, there is a battle to post who has the most snow. "I have 2 inches on the back porch!". "Oh yeah!?!? I have 4 on my car!".
  7. Somebody must post a perverted status about how many inches their girlfriend/wife will be expecting that night. 
  8. A plethora of yeti, Empire Strikes Back, and avalanche photos spring up across FB, all claiming they took this pictures coming home, backyard, etc. 
  9. As the snow comes, people MUST post about how they hope their power does not go out constantly. It also helps to complain about how the local power company sucks and the wires to their house are old and broken so they will be the first without.
  10. During the snowstorm, people will post that every major, secondary, and back road has been closed by the Police, State Police, Fire Department, National Guard, or Rebel Alliance. The shocking thing is, the roads people claim are closed, seem to be open and functioning even as they status is updated. Before the storm is over, FB status updates will claim that every road in the area is closed. 
  11. At least one person MUST claim that an officer of the law threatened to write a ticket to anybody they catch out on the roads during the storm. To date, I have never heard of such a ticket being written... ever!
  12. People who live in the area will need to post about how they wish they lived far away from this snowy region, while people who live far away, will post about how they wished they lived here in the snow.
  13. A few individuals will feel the need to use their status updates to post hourly weather reports and or school closings. 
  14. Thousands upon thousands of snow pictures spring up all over.
  15. At least one person must post the holiday jingle, "Let it snow", or at least update their status as such. 
  16. Reports of vehicle wrecks pop up all over, many of them fictitious, a few exaggerated. 
  17. People scream about having, "cabin fever", after a few hours of snow. Threats of cannibalism and complete family genocide follow if the snow lasts longer that 24 hours.
  18. Many people will post how they CANNOT wait till summer... Conversely, these are the same people who complain endlessly in summer about how hot it is and they cannot wait to see snow.
  19. After the snow stops, even more pictures of snow will pop up but theses will be sprinkled with snow men pictures as well. Some of the snow men must have genitalia.
  20. When it is over, people start posting about the next big storm that the weather station just predicted for next week. This will occur regardless if that station predicted it or not.

   Society has survived (somewhat) and we continue on to weather the next big storm. I do feel for any person or persons that suffered at all during the snowfall but it was fun to watch most people freak out for nothing. It did make for some pretty photos. 

The Wicked Woods are none the worse for wear so we will live to haunt another day!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Snowpocalypse of 2012

   It is pandemonium here in South West Virginia where people are utterly shocked  snow has come back to the area in winter! This weather phenomenon has taken people by complete surprise as most people can only recall us getting snow for the last few hundred years during winter.
   Local super markets were over run with people trying to get milk and bread. It is unclear what they plan to do with all that milk and bread but one source tells me they believe it is some kind of pagan ritual that will help drive off the snow demons of winter and bring good weather to the state.
   Here are some pictures of the "Snowpocalypse".

Snow in front yard.

Snow in back yard.

Snow in side yard.

Snow in neighbor's yard.

Scary ghost standing in snow in back yard.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Just another day in paradise.

   Just a typical Friday view from the porch. 

    Mornings like this really make me think. I am actually looking forward to good weather and working in the yard. Good weather means I can get out and start putting together Halloween projects for the coming season.   Good weather also means there will be a plethora of amazing things to photograph.
    I am also looking forward to starting a new career in 2012. Having a year long vacation was a lot of fun, but it is time to get back in the saddle again. Just not sure what direction I will take this time.
    As Friday heralds in the weeKEnD, I hope it finds you all safe and happy. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Have a wicKED Valentines's Day!

Give your heart to someone special today!  

Monday, February 13, 2012

Beware the Wood Booger!

  The team from Animal Planet's, "Finding Bigfoot", were poking around in my neck of the woods on their most recent show.  A video taken from Southwest Virginia got them here. You can see the video of the "Wood Booger" below :

   They were up on High Knob, part of the Jefferson National Forest, during October/November of last year which is the best time of the year for our area. 

   This is an area that I often frequent and have camped many, many times over the years. While I have heard some strange calls at night up there , I never ran into the Wood Booger. This autumn, I plan on doing a good bit of picture taking for the blog to show it off.

  Really some beautiful mountain scenery in the episode and I was proud to see a show reflect something positive about our area instead of portraying us as a bunch of snake handling, moonshine running, backwoods creepin, toothless, cousin marrying hillbillies.  

   Check out this episode of  "Finding Bigfoot" for some nice video of the Autumn foliage if nothing else. 

   I am sad to report that the team did not find the elusive High Knob "Wood Booger", but I can offer them a perfect explanation. You see, Archie caught the Wood Booger long ago.... and we have been dealing with it ever since!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Winter finally shows it's icey fury in the Wicked Woods

   And we are freezing our tail pipes off! 

       You know that it is windy and cold when your workshop has angled icicles. 

       Hope everybody is staying warm and planning for Halloween 2012!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I see a bad moon arising.

   There was a pretty wicKED full moon going on last night. I just did not have the correct lenses to fully capture it in the dark night sky. I did my best though. My Japanese Wicked Willow helped add some creep factor to the pics.

   Nights like that send me itching to start Halloween projects.... and to shave.... hmmm. In completely unrelated full moon news, I was able to capture a picture of Lilly's reaction to either the Super Bowl outcome, or the condition of the trashcan lid right after the party. Not sure which, but she is clearly sick about something.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Both the host and the chili were wicKED!

   We are getting ready to kick off the annual Wicked Super Bowl Party here in the Wicked Woods. I have a special giant cauldron kettle to make my infamous Wicked Chili in.

  This concoction contains 6 pounds of ground round, 3 pounds of ground pork, 6 bell peppers of various color, 3 yellow onions, 4 quarts of stewed tomatoes. and a generous helping of chipotle chilies. It is the bomb diggity. 
   I had a friend ask me if he should send a Hasmat team down here while I was making it. I told him, "No. but you may want to send one down a few hours after everybody eats it."
   The menu continues with fried pickles, sliders, BBQ lil smokies, 2 kinds of queso dip and all the fixins. 
   The house is all decorated up, no thanks to referee Lilly, who is more content at watching the fish do fishy things. 

   It has been a busy weekend but we are ready for some football. Hope you all have a wicKED good time tonight. Lilly has already passed out from all the excitement.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Celebrate each day, as if it were your last.

Sunrise from my back porch
   "We call today, the present, because each day we rise to see it is a gift we should rejoice at receiving" 

       I have been severely lacking on posts of late. This is due mostly in part to a bit of tragedy that has befallen my family. My stepfather passed away last Tuesday, leaving a huge void in my immediate family. He has been an influential part of my adult life for the last 16 years, and will be sorely missed by all. Frank always has a kind word, funny song, or piece of old school advice to tell you. His jokes and stories were a staple during dinners. 
   Franks's birthday always fell on our annual Christmas cookie baking night.  He was always at my house at Halloween watching me "entertain" the costumed children. The Wicked Woods mourns the loss of this funny, big-hearted fellow.

Frank celebrating one of the many Birthdays/Cookie Nights at my house.
    That is why I frown on anybody that decides to not celebrate holidays, or life itself. Never pass by an opportunity to celebrate life's little victories, no matter how small they may seem. When all is said and done, it is the little things that add up to be the biggest.